God is good all the time….
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5
I have no idea what I am doing….
By now I think I would….
But I don’t…
It is overwhelming in the flesh….
Homeschool is tougher than I ever imagined….
My Healed Wife was even more amazing than I thought…
She made this look so easy….
I always knew she worked harder than I did….
By the grace of God, I am a hard worker….
She was even more…
So much more….
I did not realize how much….
Not just school….
Raising our 5 world changers….
She poured all of herself into them….
They are amazing children….
They are a reflection of all she gave to them….
She did nothing for herself….
It was all for them…
For me….
Rarely for herself….
All I did was provide….
I thought that was hard….
What I did to contribute did not compare…
To all she did….
I provided food….
I provided shelter….
I provided support…
She built a legacy….
She…
Built…
A legacy….
I knew that when she was on earth….
I know it even more today….
I know she was amazing….
She is still amazing….
She is still with us….
In the children….
In our hearts….
I don’t know how to do this….
I do not know what I am doing….
But He does….
He continues to slowly reveal…
To show me in His time….
I have no clue how to do this alone….
He reminds me I am not alone….
He is always with us….
I have no idea how to do this without My Healed Wife….
He reminds me we are not without her….
We are just learning a new way of living with her….
When she first went to be with Jesus….
I was convinced….
For the rest of my life…
Convinced…
That a dog was going to be my companion….
He has been working on my heart….
Regarding pride….
Mostly in my career….
That is another story….
But now here too….
It is pride….
To think I don’t need help….
To think I don’t need a companion….
To think the boys don’t need a woman’s loving touch….
To think the girls don’t need a woman’s deep perspective…
She will never be replaced….
But there is a hole…
A hole that can be filled….
Filled by a person just for this season…
A person He will provide….
He put it on my heart….
Maybe it won’t be a dog….
Maybe those are not My plans for you…
Maybe those are your prideful plans….
He continued….
You can care for another…
Without diminishing what you had…
What you had with your My Healed Wife….
Nothing will ever take that away from you….
Nothing…
He continued to press on me….
Be still…
Let me guide you….
Every step….
It will all be ok….
I have you son….
It was an intimate conversation….
I leaned into him….
He brought me peace….
Peace that in His time….
He may bring me someone to walk along beside me….
Beside us….
Not to replace her….
But to compliment her….
Help continue what she started….
To continue the legacy….
To the glory of the Lord….
I will wait…
I will continue to walk…
One step at a time…
I give it all to Him….
He is so faithful….
He is so good….
I cannot see my next steps….
He is protecting me…
Protecting me from running out ahead…
Showing me one step at a time….
I cannot see my next step….
Not because of darkness….
Not because of fear….
Not because of doubt….
I cannot see my next step….
Because of the light….
Because I have given it ALL to Him….
It is bright….
It is a blinging light….
I have hope with each step…
Peace with each step….
Comfort with each step….
I see His glory in the light….
I have no fear….
I have no anxiety….
I have love…
Peace….
Hope….
My children are going to be ok….
I am going to be ok….
He will provide us the wisdom….
Wisdom with each step….
Wisdom with each decision….
As long as I keep asking….
Keep seeking….
He will keep providing….
….All the time God is good.
Pray for all of you daily. See Mary Carol in you and your children. She was a precious pearl of great price! She believed Matt. 5:6, and taught it to her children.