God is good all the time….
Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:14
It has been a month without her…
30 days has come and gone….
Without me even realizing it….
It has been a whirlwind….
Over 30 days without her…
I am not ready to take it one day at a time….
I am still working on breaths…..
I did the math….
15 breaths a minute….
1,440 minutes a day…..
648,000 breaths without her….
Then He put it on my heart….
You are not without her….
It has not been 648,000 breaths without her…
We are learning a new way to live with her….
That is what He put on my heart…
A new way of living with her…..
Without her is a victim….
Living with her is peace….
Without her let’s the pain continue…..
With her let’s the joy continue…..
It’s a new way of living with her….
That is the peace He put on my heart….
I can say…..
With all confidence…
That perfectly defines this season….
The last 648,000 breaths….
A lesson….
A new season….
We have a choice….
We are choosing joy….
The joy of the Lord is our strength…
He is so so faithful…..
Sadness and tears find their way in….
And that is ok….
We talk about it being ok….
We talk about her a lot…
We embrace the tears and the sadness….
For a moment….
Or longer….
We hug….
We pause….
Then we recall….
She is in his glory….
We rejoice with her….
We recall a great memory….
We rejoice with her…
A gentle memory….
We rejoice with her….
A funny memory….
We rejoice with her….
A loving memory….
We rejoice with her….
We reflect for a moment….
And we find a new way of living with her…
Filled with joy….
She is always with us….
He is always with us….
We are never alone….
He is with me as I write this….
Covering me with His love…
HIs peace….
I have had so many awkward encounters…
I feel badly…
Talking about her is not taboo….
Around me….
Or the children…
It actually helps….
There is nothing that can be said to help fill the hole that has been left….
And that is ok….
There is no expectation for words….
We are not expecting anyone to make us feel better…..
I know everyone wants to…..
That is not anyone’s burden….
God is handling that….
Cradling us with every breath….
You…..
Your friendship….
Just a hug….
That speaks volume…
Seems to bring a moment of peace….
For both….
This has been a beautifully horrible experience….
I am a peaceful wreck….
Jesus is the beautiful peace of this story….
I have been focused on myself….
And my children…..
Not respecting that this has been hard on everyone who knew her….
I apologize for not recognizing that….
I invite everyone who knew her to embrace the sadness….
And then rejoice with us…..
….all the time God is good.