January 9th, 2023
God is good all the time….
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” – Proverbs 3:5
2024 is here…
That is good….
For so many reasons….
Not why you would expect….
As I reflect on 2023….
I could say it was a horrible year….
For the obvious….
In the flesh….
It was horrible….
My best friend….
I now have a different relationship with her….
Not one I was expecting….
I thought I had much longer….
I thought I would be the first to go….
I miss her laugh….
I miss her smile….
I miss holding her hand….
I miss the open conversations….
I miss being kept in line….
I miss all that….
After 18 plus years….
To have her physical presence gone….
It absolutely stinks in the flesh….
It comes upon me….
The sorrow….
It comes upon me sometimes….
Without warning….
I embrace it for a moment….
Shed a tear….
But I have to press on….
I have to press back to walking in the spirit….
Rejoicing with her…..
I cannot stay in that place of pain….
She would not want me in that place of pain….
He does not want me in that place of pain….
He took it all from me….
The pain….
The sorrow….
My cares….
He took them all from me….
When He died on the cross…..
Why would I want to take them back from Him….
It would almost be like telling Him….
You did all that for nothing….
I want to carry it all myself….
Thanks but no thanks God …..
Ignorance….
Or pride….
Or both…..
He died so we could live…..
He died so we could have the hope….
The hope that is in Jesus….
Knowing she is healed…..
Knowing she is at His right hand….
Knowing she is whole….
Knowing she is in His presence….
For eternity….
I know I don’t grasp eternity….
But I do know….
It is a really really really long time….
And that is good enough for me….
When I think about 2023….
It is a celebration in the spirit….
My Healed Wife….
Is in His presence….
How could I wish anything different for her….
How could I do anything but celebrate….
My relationship with Him….
Deeper and more intimate than ever….
By a lot….
Like infiniti a lot….
Back to that concept I struggle with comprehending….
The growth in my relationship….
I don’t know how to measure….
It has come through trust….
It has come through faith….
I thought I had trust….
I thought I had belief….
I thought I had faith….
He has revealed to me….
I did not….
Not to the full….
I had limitations….
Myself….
Pride….
Thinking I could do things on my own….
He pointed out my biggest sin to me this year….
From Hebrews 12…..
The sin that so easily ensnares us….
It is different for each one of us….
He revealed to me….
The sin that easily ensnares me…..
Pride….
In my career….
In my life….
As a man….
I am a fixer….
As a man….
The leader of the house….
I am the fixer….
Pride….
Says I am the source of the solution…..
I am the source of the fix…
Humility…..
Trust….
Says I look to Him as the source of the solution….
He is the only source of the fix….
I am still a fixer….
I am just no longer the source of the fix….
I would let His word influence me….
I would use it for a suggested route…
A map I would peek at….
And then tuck away….
Just looking at the first road….
And the destination….
Trusting in myself….
To find the rest of the route….
Pride would step in…..
I would take control of the wheel….
He has had to recalibrate….
So many times….
Constant recalibrating….
I start on His route….
Letting Him guide me…..
Then pride sets in….
I would take the wheel….
I stop letting His thoughts be my thoughts….
I start letting my thoughts be my thoughts….
I stop following his will for my life….
I start praying for my will for my life….
His will is so much better…..
What was I thinking….
There is no need to recalibrate…..
No wrong turns….
When He has the wheel….
Constant recalibrating….
When I take the wheel….
I start in His direction….
I put my head down and charge forward….
On my own….
I look up….
I am 50 miles from anywhere He intended me to be…..
What did He reveal to me in 2023…..
He revealed to me that I was not trusting in Him….
He was a resource….
He was a guide….
But I was in control….
I had the wheel….
I was trusting in myself….
Significantly in my career….
A little less in other areas….
But trusting in myself….
He has taught me….
How to trust….
How to let His word….
Be final authority in my life….
My will….
My wish….
Is to serve Him….
Full time…..
Whatever that looks like…..
If He points me in a direction…..
Yes sir….
On my way….
But then….
Keep my head up….
Looking to Him….
For direction….
In every step….
Along the way….
Trusting in Him….
Trusting in His word….
Trusting in His promises….
I want nothing more…..
Than to live a life worthy of His calling….
We have art on our wall…
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”….
It was an intention before 2023…..
It is a philosophy…..
A new way of thinking….
It is now our way of life….
No longer an intention….
But a way of life….
That is what 2023 brought….
To me and my children….
We are trusting without boarders….
We felt His presence….
Like never before….
In 2023…..
We heard His voice….
Like never before….
In 2023…..
We got a better understanding….
Of the depth…
Of the magnitude….
Of His love for us….
In 2023….
He showed us the value of good friends….
So many people walking along with us…..
In 2023….
He showed us new relationships….
He brought people to light….
People who have been there for over 14 years….
He brought them into a new light….
Into new and beautiful relationships….
In 2023….
We chose to live a new life….
We began to feel what it is like….
To make His word….
Final authority in our life….
We fully expect….
2024….
To be so much more…..
This has been a beautiful horrible experience….
I am a peaceful wreck…..
I thank God for the beautiful and the peaceful….
I would be a horrible wreck without Him….
….. all the time God is good
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