December 3rd, 2023
God is good all the time….
The horse is prepared for battle, but victory rests with the Lord. – Proverbs 21:31
One of her favorite seasons of the year…
Decorating for Christmas….
We started Friday….
Lot’s of good memories….
Lot’s of pain in the flesh…
We have just started…
It has been fun…
It has been festive…
It has been sad…
There is a hole….
It will never be filled….
And that is ok….
We have talked about it….
Cried about it….
We will honor her through it….
She would want us to enjoy this…
One of her favorite seasons of the year….
Celebrating the birth of Jesus….
Will do some more today….
It is not the same….
It will never be the same…
Decorating…
One of My Healed Wife’s favorite things to do….
We are not doing it without her….
We are learning a new way of decorating with her….
Remembering what was special to her….
Drawing us closer to her…
Through our memories….
Hearing her in each other…
Living a new way with her….
Our house will always reflect her….
Reflect her heart…
Her love for the children….
Her love for Jesus….
I have 5 world changers….
In their own way….
Each one shines of her love….
Her love for Him….
Her love for others….
Her love to serve….
Each one has so much of her in them…..
They are amazing children….
I give all the glory to God….
I give Him the glory for her heart….
For the mama’s heart He gave her….
She poured her life into them….
In every way….
They are her legacy….
They will always be a tremendous reflection of her….
They are amazing…
Because of her….
Because of her love for Jesus….
This season will always be special to us….
Because it was special to her….
We celebrate the birth of our Lord and savior….
With her…
Always….
The boys slept with me last night….
They usually do about 4 nights a week….
They find peace in sleeping with dad….
I woke up this morning….
With Joseph looking at me….
With a big, warm ,loving smile on his face….
Just watching dad sleep….
He gave me a kiss and closed his eyes….
Back to sleep for a few more hours he went….
Had a tough moment a few days ago….
I tried not to show it…
Hannah knew it….
She came to check on me….
Just to give me some love…
Just to be sure daddy was ok….
Stepped into the bedroom Friday while we were decorating….
Sat on the corner of the bed….
Just needing a moment to reflect….
Mary Grace came in….
Just put her arm around me….
Not a word….
Just a smile and a hug….
Loved me in the moment….
Caleb hugs me just a little tighter….
Hugs a little longer….
Seeks a little more approval….
Wanting to make dad happy….
Addison intentionally gets up when I do….
So she can read her Bible with me….
If I have hit snooze….
She will go back upstairs…
Come back down when she hears me….
We are usually the first up….
That is our time together….
Very few words are spoken…
Just our special time….
The more intimate my walk with Jesus has become….
The more praise and worship time at church has become an emotional event….
I get overwhelmed by the Spirit….
I cry….
The girls are always watching me….
If they see a tear….
Watery eyes….
They grab my hand….
And just hold it….
They all look out for their daddy…
Always….
I am supposed to be taking care of them….
They are taking care of me….
Jesus is taking care of us all….
My healed wife is right there with Him….
I had lunch with a spiritual mentor….
He listened….
He gave me some great wisdom….
I listened….
Taught me so much….
It was great to have adult conversation….
I can get judgmental looks when I tell people I don’t have a job….
When I tell them I am not even looking yet….
After listening….
He understood….
He supported me….
The Lord has called me to do two things….
To continue what my healed wife had started….
Raising our 5 world changers…
In the ways of the Lord….
Homeschooling them….
That was her passion….
I will continue it….
He has also called me to serve Him in a greater capacity…
I don’t know what that means…
But the message is clear…
I am not called to work….
I am called to serve….
There is a big difference…
I will wait for His direction….
For His clarification….
In the meantime….
I will do all I know how to do….
To raise my children….
In the ways of the Lord…..
So they can be world changers….
For Him….
I will prepare to serve in a greater capacity….
So when that calling is clear….
I will be ready….
I will prepare my children…
I will prepare myself…
Victory will rest in the Lord….
….. all the time God is good.
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