God is good all the time….
I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; – Deut 30:19
It can sneak up on you….
The pain….
The sadness…
In the flesh…
It can come out of nowhere….
Watching Avengers with my children….
Iron man saves humanity….
But dies in doing so….
As he sits there gasping for breath….
Struggling to hold onto life….
Pepper releases him….
She tells him….
We will be ok….
Because of what he sacrificed….
Pepper and all those he cares about….
Will be ok…
I had that same conversation….
Releasing My Healed Wife to heaven….
She was unresponsive….
But she heard me….
Because of all she had done in our lives….
To love us….
To take care of us….
To raise our children….
To show us how to love the Lord….
With all of her heart….
We will be ok….
I released her….
If God was calling her home….
I released her….
Hardest conversation of my life….
Tears flowing like never before….
Pepper’s words reminded me of that conversation….
Tears flowed again….
My beautiful girls surrounded me….
Loved on me….
Reminded me of the hope we have in Jesus….
The joy of knowing she is healed….
The joy of knowing she is whole….
The joy of knowing she is in His presence….
The joy of knowing we will all be together again….
My children….
Her children….
Made a choice….
They could have joined me in misery….
They could have chosen to be a victim….
But they chose life…..
They chose to be victors….
They chose to help bring me back to victory….
Last night….
Watching Home Alone….
Kevin finally reunites with his mom at the end….
They look each other in the eyes…..
They embrace….
Tears again….
Out of nowhere….
Tears again….
My thoughts….
My boys will never feel that embrace again….
My heart began to break for them….
I was walking down the path of a victim….
The Holy Spirit stepped in….
He was not going to allow me to stay on that path….
The Holy Spirit reminded me….
They will have that embrace again….
That moment will happen….
And it will be more beautiful than ever…
That moment will happen again….
In His presence….
With her….
With Him….
That is the hope…
That is the peace….
That is the love…
Of Jesus….
In the flesh….
I reacted as a victim….
The Holy Spirit corrected my thinking….
That scene is now a picture of the beautiful hope….
It won’t be an empty house….
It will be in a crowded heaven…
But my boys will have that moment again….
My girls will have that moment….
I will have that moment….
And we will never be separated again….
Better yet….
They will have that moment with Jesus….
That is my peace….
That is my joy….
That is the beautiful….
Our last trip to the hospital….
In March of this year….
Her body was not cooperating with her healing….
It was the first time I felt that her healing might be in heaven….
I prayed with tears….
Lord….
If you take her now….
I will never understand….
I will never stop following you….
I will never stop loving you….
I will never stop seeking you….
But I will not understand….
Not until we meet in heaven….
And you tell me….
Why she had to go….
On your timeline….
And not on mine….
I thought I would never understand….
One day….
After she went to be with Him….
While praying….
He gave me an answer…
He put it on my heart…
When we meet….
He would be glad to tell me….
He went further….
He painted a picture for me….
He said when I get there….
And I see Him….
And I see her….
In all His glory….
All of us together…
In His presence….
Why won’t matter….
Why won’t cross my mind…
Peace again….
Since that time…
I have come to realize….
He has given me why….
I have been saying it….
He revealed it to me….
I just have never connected it….
Her spirit while here on earth…
Made a huge impact on our family…
An impact on so many other lives….
He has put it on my heart….
Her spirit in heaven….
Is going to have an even greater impact….
A greater impact than it did on earth….
Her legacy….
Her children….
Our lives….
Will honor her….
And glorify the Lord….
We will use our testimony….
To bring more people into His kingdom….
To show His unending love….
His steadfast faithfulness….
His goodness….
Her spirit in heaven will have a greater impact than it did on earth….
To His glory….
That is why….
So she could be in His presence…
So we could have this intimate relationship with Him….
So we could make a bigger difference in this world….
To honor her….
To glorify Him….
In the flesh….
In our limited thinking…
This appears to be a sad story….
In the spirit….
In the light of God’s love….
In the light of His presence in this journey….
In the light of His faithfulness in this journey….
In the light of the beautiful….
Of this beautiful horrible experience….
In the light of the peace….
Of the peaceful wreck that I am….
In light of the Hope of Jesus….
This is a beautiful, intimate, and vulnerable love story….
I have read the end of the book….
We win….
As children of God….
We will all be together….
My healed wife…
My children….
Me….
Jesus…
Together for eternity….
I don’t comprehend eternity….
But I do know….
It is a really, really, really, long time….
And I am ok with that….
…. All the time God is good.
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